Today was good, I try to make the best of it.  My brother dropped by, not only did we enjoyed his company, but he also helped me a lot.  Our laundry machine broke and by the looks of it we didn’t think it would come back to life even if we try fixing it. Water was running through the back and got all of the carpet in our closet wet! We had to pull up the carpet. We thought it was one of the little ones peeing lol, but after a while, my husband told me that was way too much water lol!

My mother-in-law kindly gave her laundry machine to us. She said she would buy a new one for herself. It was hard to say yes,we have always been so independent, but with pending medical expenses and four little ones we had to be realistic; we humbly accepted. My brother help me connect the laundry machine so I could finally wash the baskets full of dirty clothes!

I am finally weaning off the cyclosporine. I’m only going to take it once a day for 14 days then I will stop. In preparation for the dialysis, I will be weaned off the other immunosuppressants as well. The transplant doc said that as of right now I would be a poor prognosis for direct transplant so we have to do dialysis.  They want to build my immune system back up to see if the parvo b19 virus goes away. They also said I was malnourished so they think dialysis will help.  It is hard because I will be seeing how my kidneys will slowly die.

My sister showed me a quote by Michael J. Fox that says: “Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it”.So that has helped a lot.

This Saturday felt like everything was falling apart. The air conditioner upstairs stopped working, the washing machine was broken, water was draining in the closet among other things going wrong. A friend came by after hearing about our carpet issue and volunteer to help Manny to take the carpet out it was starting to smell bad and then he came with his lawn mower and helped him cut the lawn.  My heart swells with gratitude, as I know we are not alone.  Life can be overwhelming but it is worth living it.

Thank you to all of the people that have kept my family and I in your prayers and positive thoughts.  I am not great at communicating because I’ve always been shy; but my appreciation is immense. A smile from a stranger soothes the soul when your aching. A simple hug from someone that just heard your story and can relate is priceless.

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