Very frustrated!!

I’d like to apologize in advance because this post is going to be a little long. I’m pretty ticked off and frustrated and I was really hoping not to have to post this.

You may be wondering why I haven’t started a GoFundMe, YouCaring, or some other online donation for Laura. Well, I’m going to go ahead and start one in the next day or two. Those of you that know me well know that it was uncharacteristic of me to not jump on this sooner because you know that I would do anything for Laura and my family. Well, I’d like to explain…

First, the hospital has required us to use a non-profit organization called NFT (National Foundation for Transplants). I asked if we could open our own account or use someone else and they said there were no exceptions. They do not want us doing anything else because “they can’t check our balance to make sure we have the money” and they “have over 500 patients and they don’t have the time to check statements every month to make sure we don’t take out the money.” Come on really? Laura needs a freaking transplant and you’ve told us that a kidney transplant costs $280,000-$300,000 and $8,000-$10,000 a year for the rest of her life, so do you really think I’m going to use that money for anything else?  I don’t need a freaking babysitter. I think I’m old enough to make wise decisions!

Anyway, I looked into them and they seem like a great organization, but once I read their fine print, I did not think they were a good fit for us because they make you sign an agreement that says:

  • I agree that all funds raised in my honor while partnering with NFT will be sent to NFT to be used for the agreed upon purposes as set forth in NFT’s Policies for Assistance.
  • To ensure the integrity of NFT and its community campaigns, any existing bank accounts for the purposes of fundraising must be closed.
  • No other accounts should be opened.
  • No other fundraising organization should be consulted while partnering with NFT without prior consent of NFT.

So if you raised money before using NFT, you have to close those accounts. You can’t open any new accounts and you can’t do any fundraising outside NFT. This money is for Laura’s medical fund anyway. so I guess I’m okay with that. But then comes the stuff I don’t agree with.

  • I have to submit payment/reimbursement requests and wait for them to pay the doctors directly or reimburse me if I paid out of pocket. Why do I have to waste time doing this? I’ve got enough crap to worry about taking care of my wife and kids. Why can’t I just get a credit card that only works for medical expenses??
  • Then the big one (you can click the image below to enlarge it)
  • If Laura gets sick for anything unrelated to the transplant, I won’t be able to touch the money we’ve raised for MEDICAL purposes. IT WILL NOT COVER IT!
  • God forbid, if Laura were to pass, IT WILL NOT COVER FUNERAL EXPENSES.  So what happens to the money? Check the next point…
  •  UnusedMoney
    Yup, they keep it. Isn’t that nice?

So that’s why I don’t want to use them. We’ve been calling our “financial adviser” at Baptist since last Thursday two or three times a day and it always goes to his VM. Oh, and he has a nice message on it that says not to leave more than one message and just “trust that we will call you back”.  So at this point, after not getting a return call for almost a week, I’m fed up. I’m going to do what I think is right and start my own fundraising account. It should be ready in the next couple of days.

If Baptist didn’t have the highest ratings for kidney transplant in Oklahoma, we’d be going somewhere else. It seems like the only thing they are focused on is money rather than the patient’s health. I guess I should have known that from day one when the social worker asked the auditorium “Who wants a new kidney?” and when half the people raised their hand, she said “Good, because that pays for my salary so I’d like to do a few this year.”

The second reason I hadn’t started a fundraiser is because I’ve never really liked to ask for help. I’ve always tried to dig myself out of whatever hole life puts me in on my own. I don’t like to ask for help, not because I’m prideful, but because that’s just how I grew up.

My parents came to the States from Mexico when I was 4 and a half years old. I didn’t know English and neither did they. As I learned English, my parents relied on me rather than me relying on them. I couldn’t ask for help with my homework because my parents couldn’t read English. They made the money, but I wrote the checks. They moved from house to house, but I opened and transferred the utilities. Dad fixed the car, but I asked for the parts at AutoZone. I worked full time while in high school and bought my own clothes; I put myself through college. So I’ve learned to rely on no one but myself since I was about 5-6 years old. That is why it is especially hard to ask for help.

However, I also know that even though it’s hard for me to ask, there are many kind and giving people that would love to help and are just waiting for us to ask for it. We’re asking… Thank you all and please keep us in your prayers.


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One thought on “Very frustrated!!”

  1. How sad is it that the value of someone’s life depends on rules made by stupid bureaucrats to make sure they get their money…. I know you don’t have time to fight the system and try to be a caretaker, husband, a dad and provider at the same time; or to play the caped crusader; but, I think this is a great subject for “in your corner” or whatever that program is called where the media investigates. I am quite certain most people are not aware of these facts unless they have had to go through it. So if you were wealthy and had the money to just hand over to the hospital would it still have to go through this association? I can assure you any fundraiser I do I can hand the money to you personally because they will not know I did it. If they won’t accept good ole cash my thought would be use it for an attorney!!

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